Potential Bumper Stickers.
* The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette.
* I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
* I work hard, because millions on welfare depend on me.
* Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
* I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
* WANTED: meaningful overnight relationship.
* You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
* BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
* I got a gun for my wife; best trade I ever made.
* So you're a feminist ... isn't that cute.
* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
* Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
* To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
* I'm not a complete idiot: some parts are missing.
* I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
* I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
* God must love stupid people, he made so many.
* The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
* Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
* CAT: The Other White Meat.
* Beer: the reason I get up each afternoon.
* I must be a proctologist, because I work with assholes.
* I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
* Remember my name --- you'll be screaming it later.
* Welcome to Shit Creek --- sorry, we're out of paddles.
* If you think I'm a bitch, wait until you meet my mother.
* Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you're an asshole.